The First Year

We are now a 3….

My first day of mum life was not exactly as I expected. I was bed ridden after my emergecy section so daddy day care started on day one. Nappy changing, lifting up and down, cuddling, feeding (I had to bottle feed as 1, my milk never came in and 2, I was too I’ll).

I felt in absolute awe of my amazing man and how he just took everything in his stride. Not only did I think that I could never love another human as much as our little baby girl, I also absolutely fell utterly head over heels for her dad. I mean I loved him an unimaginable amount before but righting that day I just fell all over again.

Frustration soon kicked in. I’d barely held my little girl all day due to an array of canulas and that fact that I was super weak. I felt like I was failing her as a mum. I know I wasn’t well and absolutely nobody would judge me at the time but I felt useless and helpless. Nothing got my out of this self criticism quicker than my other half having to go home. Now it was just me and my baby girl.

I sucked up how weak I felt and took care of my little girl. I got moved out of HDU and into a normal ward so no more one to one midwife. I just had to get on with it. That night was prpproba the hardest night of my life,I’m sure I never slept a wink and by the morning I was begging my other half to get back as soon as he could, but I did it. By the time he got in to see us I was out of bed and so happy. Right at that moment we became a family of 3.


The exhausted mummy and her eye bags ❤️

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