The First Year

How do I really feel…

Christmas is past. We are in a new year. I’ve made goals and I’ve started well. I’m sticking to healthier eating. I’ve done more exercise than most of last year. I’ve started to appreciate the value of self-care. So why don’t I feel any better about myself?

In a recent discussion with my health visitor I found out that it’s quite normal for new mums to feel differently about 4 months post partum. For me it’s loneliness. We have a fairly busy week and i see a lot of people, however, I have a very busy public facing career and in comparison I’m not nearly as busy. For me this has resulted in me feeling quite low at times. Its not something I considered would be an issue but actually being at home with a 4 month old is challenging in ways I never expected. I love her to pieces but I hadn’t realised that I would actually miss being run off my feet. There is a limit to how many stories you can read to your little one, how many times you do tummy time and what is an acceptable amount of telly time. Once you’ve been for a walk, cleaned the whole flat and organised bottles etc, you look at the clock and it’s barely past lunchtime, I’m not gonna lie I start counting the hours til her dad is home.

I’m sure that I’m not the only person who feels like this or has felt like this. My daughter is everything to me but everyone needs breathing space. Everyone needs something that challenges them and stimulates them. I realised this and I that’s why one of my goals is to do a 10k. Exercise is my release. I am on complete admiration of the full time stay at home mums. It genuinely is the hardest job in the word and I am in awe of those who choose to stay at home, you truly are am inspiration.

From the exhausted mummy and her eye bags

One thought on “How do I really feel…

  1. I felt like you – I felt bad and surprised that I wasn’t loving being at home more with my first. I loved him so much but so lonely. My advice – which you might not want – sorry – is look for more clubs – baby yoga or baby sensory. I started to enjoy it a lot more when I made myself too busy again 😂😂We have three now and chaos has fully descended so always on the go and I long to have that time with my eldest again but life’s like that I guess. Trying to enjoy the present too!


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