So let’s be honest we all feel guilt in our lives. For me it’s normally after eating an entire bar of chocolate or a whole packet of biscuits (I’m a classic binge eater when the going gets tough). I feel guilty if I have to let someone down after we made plans or can’t get to an event to support a friend.
What I don’t feel guilty about is taking time for me. No it’s not selfish. No I don’t feel bad for leaving my daughter with her gran or her dad. No I don’t feel guilty. Why would I?
I’m order to be the best version of me for her occasional I need a break. Unless you hadn’t already realised parenthood is a full time thing. Every minute of every day is devoted to a tiny boss. You may tell yourself your in charge of your life but don’t kid yourself, your not, they are. So why would I feel bad for having a couple of hours a week to myself. Time where I don’t need to worry about my child because I know they are safe.
Don’t get me wrong I still miss her but I don’t have all consuming concerns when I’m away from her. Most of any time I’m away from her I’m contactable (if I treat myself to a spa treatment i.e massage or facial then I turn my phone off).
Mum guilt isn’t just about leaving your child though. Mum’s feel an unbelievable amount of guilt about how they parent, how the measure up to other mums. It’s time to drop it. For starters we are all different. We have different views, backgrounds, beliefs and circumstances. Then throw in the every changeable views of a baby. One minute they love their bun bun (her current favourite cuddle toy), the next minute they are mortally offended by the sight of it. This can also go for food, milk, my face, her dad’s face, sleep, bibs, car seat – you name it. Bringing up a tiny human is living on a knife edge between happy and tantrum.
So why beat yourself up about something you can’t control. I’m not naive enough not to know that anxiety plays a massive part in feeling guilty about parenting. I’m not saying I don’t get anxious. All I’m saying is, as hard as it is, try and stop giving yourself a hard time about what you can’t control. I’m no expert parent. I’m failing on the daily. However my little girl is fed, clothed and loved.
Life’s to short to worry about the hindsight. Just live the moments because they are short lived. Before we know it we will be at the school gates watching them run in after their friends with no second look back.
From the exhausted mummy and her eye bags