With moving on the horizon and after putting myself well and truly out of my comfort zone this week, it got me thinking about making friends. Yes,I’m no longer 5 on my first day of school but making new friends is still important.
Since having Charlotte the balance has most definitely shifted in terms of my ability to put myself out there. Those who know me would say I don’t lack the confidence but I definitely do. This week alone I’ve lost sleep over the prospect of people not liking me, just for being me. Silly in hindsight but anxiety is not rational.
So making new friends?
In your late teens, early twenties, it was enough to buy someone a drink, spare them a ciggie and before you knew it your were dancing the night away. In your career you can end up with a mixed bag of really good friends and acquaintances. In motherhood you can find those who will know more about you in a 5 minute conversation than your best friend knows after 20 years.
So the reality is as I get older it’s more difficult. The confidence has taken a knock. Friends who just wanna have a weekend bender Thursday to sunday (don’t get me wrong I’d love the chance occasional) every week no longer feel quite right. Those true lifelong friends don’t care where you live they will travel. Jobs change. People drift. So how do you go out ther and grab yourself a bunch of newbies. Your checklist is now excessive as you have no time for those who don’t fill you with joy. How do you enter the mate date pool?
I have decided with our move that I’m going to make an effort in my new surroundings. I will speak to our neighbors – to at least learn their names. I’m going to join at least one local class with Charlotte to meet mums in the area. One day I may even ask someone to go for coffee….. Ground breaking I know. As hard as it may be I know the only person stopping me – well it’s me really. So I’m just gonna pull on my Bridget joneses and do it. Put myself out there and hope that someone will take pity on me or maybe even think I’m alright.
From the exhausted mummy and her eye bags